There is no better place than home. Most of us feel that home is more about being safe and sharing many memories with our loved ones. We fill our homes with items we love and possessions that bring back memories of good times. But there will come a time when seniors need to move to an assisted living facility.
Try to imagine yourself as your parent. Although they may have lived together for many years, their needs and preferences are changing. Your parents are experiencing difficulty getting around, require more assistance with daily activities (ADLs), and may need more company.
While you know it would be wise to move to senior living, you also recognize the obstacles that may lie ahead. Do some soul searching before making this move. Consider how you can maintain boundaries, compassion, as well as self-awareness during this transition.
Talking About Senior Living
How can you approach this difficult decision? It will be hard for your parent to leave the house, but it is also important for their safety and health. Talk to your spouse, siblings, and friends. Also, check with coworkers and colleagues who may have been through the same thing with their parents. Talk to a caregiver support group, senior living community staff and other resources for some wise advice.
When things aren’t going as planned at home, it’s best to raise the issue with your parent. It’s best to schedule a meeting when you have plumbing issues or lawn maintenance bills due. This will allow you to easily segue into the conversation, rather than bring it up suddenly.
While you understand their desire to age in place, it’s important to point out the importance and benefits of moving. Do not ask for commitment immediately, as it might appear that you are already making the decision. Your dad or mom should feel that they are in control of this matter and that you are only there to support them.
Senior Living Tours: Encouragement
After the initial meeting, take your parent to several assisted-living facilities. Talk about where she would keep the items she loved to make the transition easier.
Follow the lead of your loved one. Talk to your parent about buying a new recliner or couch for their senior living home. You can replicate their existing living space or bedroom layout in your new apartment if they are more comfortable staying in their comfort zone. It’s about finding a balance between the present and the past.
The act of downsizing and moving
After moving out of their home, the biggest fear of seniors is often the actual moving process. People of all ages find moving daunting. It can be overwhelming to think about all the things we have collected over the years and how to pack them up, move them, and unpack them. Many seniors see downsizing as synonymous with purging. Many seniors are immediately put off by hoarders, collectors, and those who hold on to sentimental objects.
It can be difficult for everyone involved to decide what to do about mementos or symbols that are a reminder of a good life. What should you keep? What to keep? How do we get rid of it? Adult children can sometimes be too close to their parents and become impatient or too honest with them when it comes time to process furniture, clothing, and other personal belongings. This can lead to the entire process being stopped.
Respect your parents’ possessions, even if they don’t know why. Many seniors find the purging very symbolic and poignant. The seniors are choosing which aspects of their past to keep and which ones to let go. There are senior movers that specialize in helping seniors move, downsize, and declutter. This can take the stress and emotional pain out the moving process for you and your dad.
How to handle a parent’s indecisiveness
Sometimes, it is like grieving the loss of a home you have lived in for many decades. Moving out of a home you have lived in for decades is easier if you’ve done it in smaller steps. Many caregivers have to deal with the indecision of their loved ones regarding senior living. Ageing parents often understand the need but insist that it is not yet time.
It is difficult to comprehend the range of emotions involved in putting off all the details, offering loving support and finally accepting a major change in carefully planned plans. It can be frustrating to go through all of this only to have to retrace your steps and wait for a breakthrough or a health change to help things move forward. Meanwhile, worries about your parent’s health at home can set in.
Although it’s not an easy task, try patience while your parent chooses between the various living arrangements. Give a realistic view of how much easier it will be for your parent to make this transition sooner than expected. But, if they have a sound mind, it is their responsibility to decide where and how they live. Sometimes you may need to take a step back and bite your lips until something changes.
We were not prepared for the sudden need for higher levels of care. But you can’t tell when seniors are going to need it. You can help them stay in their home for 20 years or move to another place if they have a bad fall. It is important to act quickly because elder needs can be unpredictable.
Why shouldn’t my aging parents move in with me?
Adult children often feel the need to support their parents in making the best senior living decisions. This is an individual decision that needs to be taken into account the needs of everyone involved (you, your parent/partner, children, pets, etc.). No matter whether multigenerational living can be considered, there is always guilt at the suggestion that a loved person move into assisted living in Myrtle Beach.
Senior living is a place where older people go to when their family has “abandoned them” or they don’t have any relatives. Some families find it difficult to live with an aging parent. It is not something that many people find a comfortable and long-lasting solution. Although living together can delay the transition to senior living, it is rarely impossible.
Caregivers face difficult decisions when a parent is not safe or involved in their home. A parent’s increasing needs are an open sign that they are aging. It is a fact they must accept and we must too. The move is often considered physical proof and can be a devastating blow to the whole family. We can only respect each other and work together to provide a loving and safe home for our parents, no matter where it may be.
All of us adjust in time
Seniors and their loved ones can find it difficult to age. But, we must do what is necessary. We discuss the possibility of moving. We discuss the amount of assistance we can provide. We emphasize that we will still be there to support you, but that it is time for us to make changes. We research, travel, pack, and try to help our loved ones adjust. Our parents adapt and we eventually help them to adjust. While many seniors feel happier once they settle into senior living, it doesn’t mean that the process is easier.
This transition is inevitable. Only one way out is through. It is difficult to move from one’s home to another. Recognize the pain of your parents as well as yours. Third-party support is available if you and your elder are experiencing too much pain. A close friend, a religious leader, or a paid counselor can provide support and new ideas to help you both look to the future instead of dwelling on the past.
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